how do i envision my ideal 2018?
flowing and fluid.
effortlessly smooth.
with an ease of expression.
i knew my word-of-the-year must not only guide me,
but also embody this feeling.
i considered several different words while engaging
in this much-awaited december ritual.
nouns, adjectives, verbs.
a few came to the forefront as favorites:
magical.
dance.
energy.
breathe.
whole.
but none immediately apparent as “the one.”
2017 was interesting and demanding,
fascinating and eye-opening.
i stumbled and fell,
i picked myself back up and tried again.
i even had a few magical mini-triumphs.
but i knew, at my core, that i wasn’t yet
dancing my way through my days.
i discovered that it takes a great deal of energy
to wake up ready-and-eager to go, each and every day,
in an unfamiliar environment.
i wasn’t breathing deeply or fully enough,
i wasn’t taking it all in.
and i rarely felt completely whole.
assimilating to a new culture has often made me feel
like a tentative toddler taking her first steps,
rather than a responsible adult boldly making decisions.
suddenly another word began appearing in my mind.
i kept whispering it to myself,
rolling it around on my tongue,
imagining its limitlessness.
gaining an intuitive understanding of its gifts.
it also became clear that my other potential words
were encapsulated within its definition.
instinctively i knew i had found my 2018 word.
FLUENT.
in italian, obviously.
but fluent throughout my entire life as well.
it will be awhile until i’m fluent in the language.
i’m learning, however, to be gently realistic about it.
allowing myself to routinely fail,
congratulating myself on small successes.
since my confidence still wavers on a daily basis,
i’d love to be more articulate.
but i want this feeling of fluency to flow smoothly,
not just from my lips,
but throughout my entire being.
i want to feel comfortable again in my own skin,
to feel more ease in my overall existence.
to be “fluently april” once more.
a fluent mindset will help me push through
the inherent obstacles i continue to face
in my chosen lifestyle.
FLUENT.
in italian, obviously.
but fluent throughout my entire life as well.
*******
endnote:
i’ve actually chosen two words for 2018,
but i’ve decided to keep the second one a secret.
(only the pages of my journal know.)
yes, my life is usually an open book,
but some things just feel sacred.
i may reveal it at the end of the year,
since i’m sure important lessons will emerge from it.
i’m going to wait and see how i feel.
for now i’ll just refer to it as S.
*******
THE ARRIVAL
TUSCANY, ITALY | MAY 20-25, 2018
[Click on the image above for more information!]
*******
click to receive my studio notes in your inbox each week.
(and receive my first travel size course, AWARENESS #1, as my complimentary gift to you!)
tweet
