we get up.
we do what we need to do.
(sometimes we don’t.)
we go to bed.
(sometimes we sleep.)
we get back up.
another day.
and do it all again.
routine, monotony.
longing for more.
sometimes getting to the finish line.
success, even victory.
we laugh, we cry.
we stumble, we triumph.
mostly we do what we need to do.
very very necessary.
connect.
neglect.
near misses too.
beaming on the outside.
screaming on the inside.
scared and bold.
weak and strong.
puzzled and certain.
asking the questions.
questioning the answers.
relying on others.
forsaking ourselves.
adventure beckons.
but sometimes just comfort
is what we need.
very very necessary.
the river keeps flowing
but it is never the same.
we forge a new pathway,
continue to hope.
even if our eyes are closed.
especially if our eyes are closed.
we grasp on. tight.
to our worth.
to our potential.
to our power.
we are still,
release a breath.
it’ll be okay.
we will be okay.
we relax.
very very necessary.
what are the ups and downs and spirals in your journey of life?
please share.
*******
goal:
to become more aware of,
then more inspired by,
essential desires.
goal:
to become less aware of,
then less affected by,
societal expectations.
let your authenticity,
your essence,
emerge.
nurture it.
embrace it.
no more invisible self.
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Right now the ups and downs, the spirals in my life are pretty much centered on the political climate in this country. I have always felt so very lucky to have grown up in a privileged, peaceful world … in contrast to my grandparents, immigrants, who raised seven children in the midst of the Great Depression and two world wars. On Saturday we watched a documentary My Italian Secret, The Forgotten Heroes. It was so inspiring. The next day I walked by the television set while someone was interviewing Trump, calling him on a quote he shared on Twitter. A Mussolini quote. (????) At one point the commentator asked him flat out, “Mr. Trump, do you know that Mussolini was a fascist? Do you want to be remembered for aligning yourself with a Fascist?” His reply, “I want to be remembered as someone who shares good quotes on Twitter.” I immediately felt the spiral down. Now, more than ever, I feel myself calling on my resources: rest, soul practices, and action to feel some semblance of control in this crazy world of ours. Thanks for asking.
WOW… how did you know…
“beaming on the outside.
screaming on the inside.”
Beautiful post April, you mentioned my goal “let your authenticity, your essence, emerge.” That’s all.
Oh such beautiful and soulful poetry. I love your words, your thoughts and offers. I recently have felt in a spiral in my life. It is helpful to think of the staircase and that though I may feel stuck on the same floor, turns out it is actually a floor higher up. Repetition with a twist!
Oh April, this reads like a battle in my mind. My inner critic can be so cutting only to be gently ushered away by the voice I planted in there with her. My voice of reason. She knows how to calm the critic. She doesn’t get angry with her, she speaks to her respectfully, but in disagreement. She counters with kinder, encouraging words, but it can feel like a tug of war at times. Wonderful post (and I loved the Yeats quote, too)!!
I echo Sue Ann’s sentiments. So very frightening. And completely baffling.
I’ve been struggling with insomnia this week, so I can barely stay on the staircase. It’s like that scene in Vertigo. I’m marginally functional with no sleep.
And since the insomnia is a symptom of stress, I will remind myself that it will be o.k. Thank you for that, dear April. xo
Those were beautiful words.
This phrase resonated strongly with me
“the river keeps flowing
but it is never the same.”
It’s an invitation to surrender to the flow rather than attempting to control it.
Dare I see where the river takes me? More and more often, I do.
Sometimes, sill I don;t, guess that’s the spiral, in and out of trust, in and out of trying to control.
“goal:
to become more aware of,
then more inspired by,
essential desires.”
Yes, yes, YESSSSSS!!!
There’s something there for me, that’s deep… the spiral staircase and the desires… What if the desires are a thread, what if we’re wanting the same things in our souls and everytime we listen and follow we get to go higher and higher on the staircase…