the allergy allegory

stifled.

congested.

unable to breathe.

stifle: 
“to experience difficulty in breathing, to smother, to suffocate.”
“to crush by force, to suppress or withhold.”

congest:
“to fill to excess, to clog.”
“to overburden.”

breathe:
“to take air into the lungs and expel it.”
“to pause, to live, to exist.”
 
defined literally.
and figuratively.

i have been suffering from – scratch that, no victim stance – dealing with allergies.
extreme allergies.
for the last five weeks.

i’ve been coughing, my nose has been either stuffed up or running, i’ve had several asthma attacks.
and i’ve fought off a sinus infection.
i even spent one scary night riding out an anaphylactic reaction to aspirin.

i’ve tried several different combinations of remedies.
prescription, over-the-counter, natural.

one day in the midst of all this, in a scattered fog of thoughts, i began writing in my journal.
and i started noticing some interesting patterns.

i had written the words “i am stifled right now.”
but i wasn’t just talking about my physical health.
i realized how the sinus congestion had become a perfect parallel to two aspects of my personal life.

1. my career
i closed the doors to my wellness studio at the end of august 2012.
and, ever since, i have been transitioning from an in-person business to an online venture.
in the process, i have learned and applied new and different methods of marketing.
and adjusted to coaching via telephone and skype exclusively.
i’m out of my comfort zone.
but, although it hasn’t been as smooth or as quick as i would have liked, i keep at it.
i keep growing my business.
 
 
2. my domicile 
my family and i have been living in three separate places for several years.
six months ago, we decided to put our primary residence on the market and live as nomads.
however, until the property sells, it has been difficult to make definite travel plans.
or even solidify temporary living arrangements.
we are in limbo.
but we adjust to the holding pattern the best we can and take each day as it comes.
we keep living our lives.
 
 
i wholly believe that our physical health can influence our emotional well-being.
and the opposite is true as well.
our mental state can definitely lead to physical manifestations.

cause and effect.
chain reaction.
ripples in a pond.

i’m STIFLED.

i’m CONGESTED.

i’m finding it harder and harder to breathe.  

the sinus pressure has become a symbol of the fluctuations in my life.
the plunging breaker of the wave i’ve decided to surf.
a physical metaphor for the psychological forces that are pressing down on me.

i need to breathe again. 

literally.

figuratively.

i need to stop the suffocation.

i need to focus.

concentrate.

inhale and exhale.

push through this stage, this roadblock, in my health and in my life.

now that i’ve recognized the connection, perhaps i can heal.
both my somatic symptoms.
and also my displaced feelings associated with these in-between stages.

in fact, as i write this, i can already feel my head starting to clear.
both my sinuses and my idea banks opening.
 
 
opening:
“an unobstructed or unoccupied space.”
“the act of beginning, the initial stage.”
“an opportunity or chance.”
 
 
yes, an OPENING.
 
a chance to get clear, the road to clarity.
out of the blocked, obscure suppression.
to free and lucid illumination.

as julia cameron said in the artist’s way, “clarity creates change.”

i initiated these changes.
i am pursuing these changes.
and i welcome these changes.

but i am human.
so, admittedly, i do struggle with these changes as well.

i certainly do not have everything all figured out.
but i know that my ideal lifestyle awaits me.
i will not stop chasing my dreams.
i will bring them to fruition.
 
and that’s what makes me a good coach.
 
i am an eager student of life.
i am willing to explore the whys and the hows in my own world.
i counsel my clients to do the same.
and i can share the tools with you too.
 
 
you’ll understand what i mean when i say
there’s no way we’re gonna give up
 
does it kill
does it burn
is it painful to learn
that it’s me that has all the control
 
’cause it’s getting harder and harder to breathe . . .
 
[maroon 5]
 
 
comments? similar psychosomatic experiences?
please share.
 
 
 
 
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