today i’d like to share a poem that i wrote four years ago, in august 2018, when i was facing down my dark side . . . i was struggling a bit with loneliness, which was spilling over into questioning the entire trajectory of the path i was on. and i wasn’t sure at the time exactly what i needed to pull myself up and out of that overcast-sky feeling. but i knew then (and i still think now) that it’s okay to explore the stormy emotional arena now and again, to allow introspection to occur. i am fully aware that i’ve created a wonderful life for myself, and i’m grateful for every one of those wonders each day. that said, however, we all have rainy days of angst.
beauty pleases and it calms
it can suffocate as well
vibrant color, moving lips
can’t explain, can’t get through
always looking rarely finding
thought it would be easier
thought it would be quicker
thought it would go gracefully
there’s only just a flicker
a flicker of that life
much harder than imagined
opening up new doors
with intricate polished knobs
ideas not yet thought of
moments that need grasping
thought it would be easier
thought it would be quicker
thought it would go gracefully
there’s only just a flicker
a flicker that might be enough
some days joyous, even certain
others curled in a ball
smoothing edges
shifting moods
perseverance through the tears
thought it would be easier
thought it would be quicker
thought it would go gracefully
there’s only just a flicker
a flicker that keeps it going
at times the obvious darkness
both appeals and it speaks
occasionally, intentionally
questions that will stretch me
breaking through all the mystique
thought it would be easier
thought it would be quicker
thought it would go gracefully
there’s only just a flicker
a flicker that grows stronger
the light is seeping in
and suddenly it’s clearing
what felt like muddled thought clouds
in the pinkish sky of morning
dissipating, disappearing
thought it would be easier
thought it would be quicker
thought it would go gracefully
there’s only just a flicker
a flicker just beginning to burn my hand
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