S.T.O.P. (the short form)

what do you do when someone makes an offhand remark to you that seems rude, maybe slightly negative?

do you overthink it, even when you know that wasn’t its intended purpose? do you replay the comment over and over in your mind, getting caught up in that cycle?

on the flip side, how do you respond when someone gives you a loving compliment?

do you say thank you and then wholeheartedly accept it? or do you question not only its validity, but the personal motives of the person who said it?

you know, we can do some serious damage to ourselves through our own hurtful-often-untrue thoughts. it’s very easy to make stuff up in our heads that has NO bearing on reality.

what should you do the next time you start over-analyzing everything?

STOP yourself.

several years ago, i developed a 12-step method that allows me (and my clients) to disarm highly emotional episodes that interfere with or derail progress. something that defuses the situation and allows one to regain momentum.

here is an abbreviated (4-step) version of my S.T.O.P. model that you can use today:

S = STILLNESS (breathe to retain inner calm)
T = TRUTH (adhere to an honest and realistic view of your circumstances)
O = OWNERSHIP (become the master of your thoughts, actions, life)
P = PRODUCTIVITY (encourage forward movement and resolution)

1. so first, BREATHE. take a moment to just stay STILL. (and chill.)

2. then, ask yourself if what you’re imagining in your head is REALISTIC and TRUE. we should never assume to know what’s in someone else’s head. just think about that for a minute – it’s actually kind of arrogant of us to do this. (do you like it when someone does that to you?)

3. next, OWN and MASTER your thoughts. don’t let them rule you and beat you up. your thoughts are very important because they ultimately lead to your actions. (what thoughts can you throw out today?)

4. finally, do not live in the past. to be truly PRODUCTIVE, within relationships and in life in general, it is best to concentrate/focus/stay tuned-in on living in the present and on FORWARD motion. (what a relief! sounds pretty freeing, doesn’t it?)

 
 
are you interested in the original 12-step version of my S.T.O.P. model? i’d be happy to personally email you a copy!

(you’ll also get my studio notes and my first travel-size course, AWARENESS #1, as added bonuses!)

gifts from essence7
 
 
 
 

tweet