the daily show reported recently that scientists in japan had invented a robot that is capable of recognizing its own reflection in a mirror. “when the robot learns to hate what it sees,” said jon stewart, “it will have achieved full humanity.” (steven pressfield)
funny because it’s true.
sad because it’s true.
why?
why are we so damn hard on ourselves?
why do we feel unworthy?
why do we lack confidence?
when will we realize we deserve to dream?
when will we feel confident in our own skin?
when will we connect with our real purpose?
when?
take a look at the various ways you put yourself down,
the ways in which you sabotage yourself.
the harsh things you whisper to the mirror each and every day.
push them all to the side with a grand flourish.
because this is it.
you are never going to be someone else.
you are you.
so get to know that person intimately.
and make full use of your unique gifts.
begin a list of your strengths,
the characteristics you have that fit the goals you imagine.
the reasons why you deserve to live your very best life.
lay them out in front of you in glorious style.
then outline the actions that will fuel the dreams.
confront and challenge the old messages and outdated stories.
let go of the lies in your head and in your heart.
the ones that leave no room for possibility.
get in touch with your liveliness and your loveliness,
your spirit and your vitality.
be rebellious and fierce.
revolutionary if necessary.
and if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take to name yourself? (unknown)
list yourself [insert name here] at the top of your strengths.
YOU are your biggest asset.
act like it.
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[image credit: finger-drawn on mobile phone by ALEXANDER G. LEE]
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It really is bizarre when you think about it, how systematically and universally we manage to suppress, hide, belittle ourselves. Talk about a pandemic! And yes, where the heck did it start? It’s like we took our innate humility and let it get distorted by some strange force. Reading here about how blatant it is, it seems ridiculous to play along with that game. How perfect (yet how strange) the idea that in order to be fully you, you need to be rebellious.
I’ve always been the “black sheep” of my family – ready to go against the grain. Why not in this as well?!?
yes, it is bizarre, cathy. that embracing our individuality and essence is a rebellious act. whatever it takes to make it happen though.
i too am the “black sheep” of my family. (and my husband is of his.) i’ve always looked upon that term in a positive light, however. i greatly dislike labels, but that is one i will own. 🙂
I’m with you on that, April. I revel in going against the grain!
Great post (and conversation), April. I fear those negative tapes are deeply engraved in our psyches, sometimes placed there by ill-equipped parents and teachers who had no idea they were damaging the very children they were trying to guide and to grow. I am reminded of the power of words and perception, particularly when they are merged with accurate mirroring. I’m not sure I’m the black sheep in my family but I have always identified with the “mistaken zygote” that Clarissa Pinkola Estes describes in her book as I’m nothing at all like my mother or my sister. When I feel the negative voice emerge, I take out a photo of my two year old self (I’m sure you’ve seen it!) and I shower the woman she became with the love she missed. Works like a charm. xxoo
Sue Ann, I guess our parents & teachers are only giving out what they were given. How lucky your students were to have you at the helm! I love that little ritual of showering love on your 2-year-old self…I might just have to adopt that practice. I know just the picture I’ll use!
Great post-April. Great ritual Sue Ann. There are many theories around that as soon as we are born and making meaning we are either making meaning that we are loved and whole or at other times we are not good enough to be loved. It must have been something we did that our parents do not give us the love that we want. As an adult it is up to us to reveal where we have made the misjudgement that we are flawed, not good enough and give ourselves the love we wanted from our parents.
Many adults mistake how to get the love they felt they missed out from someone else and by trying to control another to get love. Those strategies don’t work and then we feel even more unlovable. The best way I have found for myself and for working with others is rituals like Sue-Ann’s we have to give ourselves what we feel we need. The kindness, love, acceptance, tolerance, unconditional love we want from others we need to do for ourselves. The more we do that we less we need from others and then funnily enough the more we are free to give.