okay, one year in. and my new country of choice is a warm, inviting, beautiful place.
but there are still difficult moments. this week i was feeling a bit discouraged, a bit blue:
- i know i’ve said this over and over, but i thought my grasp of the italian language would be further along by now. my recent lesson convinced me otherwise. it’s been so much harder to learn than i ever imagined.
- i will probably never drive (legally) here. watching my husband go through the complicated requirements to get his italian driver’s license makes me think “no way! impossible!” (and because of a shipping snafu, my beloved mini cooper will not be joining me.)
- i miss close female companionship. i have friends in italy. very good friends, in fact. but we aren’t yet at that point of communicating where i can lay it all there and be totally me. totally understood, both my thoughts and my feelings. and i can’t reciprocate that need yet either.
- i wanted to immediately fly out when a family emergency came up. i felt trapped, helpless, so far away. fortunately, though the road to healing will be long, the outcome was positive. but i realized once again, during this second of two similar events in the past year, what choosing to live on a different continent than loved ones really means.
- i have a cold. (i know, this one doesn’t count.)
now, don’t get me wrong. i freely and happily chose to make this move. and italy is truly magical. the scenery, the history, the culture, the people. my villa, my retreats.
despite my grumblings, i would absolutely make the same choice again. but it’s a new lifestyle in every possible way. and i’ll be adjusting to it for a very long time to come.
there are many positives:
- i am delighting in everyday discoveries.
- i am stretching my self-imposed limits.
- i am reveling in the beauty of good good people who have welcomed me.
- i am expanding my business, creating my dream offerings.
- i am realizing just how strong i really am.
and eventually, i will speak italian. i will drive. i will share meaningful exchanges with friends. i will convey my love and concern more effectively over the miles, even if not in person. and i will heal from my cold.
but some weeks, just like some of your weeks, are hard.
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in case you haven’t seen it, i was interviewed recently about my italian adventure!
read all about it here: They Bought a Villa in Italy Sight Unseen
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Hope you will get better soon April! I love your great attitude. Life overseas is not as glamorous as we expected. There are difficult moments and beautiful things, but it is so worthwhile in the end.
I know exactly how you are feeling, as I did the same as you in 1995 and yes, I am still here in France! Living out of your comfort zone is not easy, but it can be full of adventure ( good & bad ) which you would never have otherwise. It also makes you appreciate everything you left behind.
I have a cold as well. It really stinks…but I keep reminding myself that it won’t last forever.
I know how you feel about friends. You’re friends with people but don’t feel completely able to freely be who you are around them. Am I right? 🙂 I honestly wish that I didn’t understand how you feel about that one as it’s a hard situation to be in.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your adventure with us. 🙂
Oh April, I empathize with you. When I moved to Turkey many years ago, I experienced what you wrote about.. some of it even feels so raw. The language challenges until I became fluent… driving.. I used to have a Mini as well – you will drive again one day! As you know and highlight, this experience will push in different ways you never imagined – all for the better.. I totally see you… driving your mini on some windy road, singing in Italian as the wind blows through your hair… Its just sooo sooo good. Hope you feel better soon!