noteworthy

There are many seasons in our lives. I am happy to currently find myself in geographical proximity to a group of close childhood friends. Over the past year, we’ve begun meeting once a month. We reminisce, we laugh, we cry, we share struggles and triumphs. And we attempt to understand ourselves and our dreams in more depth. One way we have taken on this feat is by tackling self-expansion challenges and presenting the diverse results at our get-togethers.
 
 
Our assignment for the month of April was from Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach:

“Write a long, wonderful love letter to yourself from your authentic self. Compliment yourself for everything you are doing right now, just the way you are. Let your authentic self encourage you as you would a young child. Mail the letter and save it for when you’re feeling discouraged.”
 
 
This was a difficult task, and several members of our group reported being unable to complete it. The April meeting had a low turnout, for various reasons, but I suspect saying OUT LOUD what we loved about ourselves was one of the deterrents.

I’ve been trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy and I try to model a positive thinking framework for my clients. But even though I’m all for expounding one’s virtues, it was a hard assignment for me as well. I noticed that each section of my letter began from a negative standpoint. In the end, I decided to keep it the way I’d written it, with a chance for further self-discovery during our group processing time.
 
 
Here is my love letter to myself:

Dear April,

Though you are often afraid, you stay strong. You are braver than you once thought.

Though you are constantly challenging your tendency to settle, you’ve grown into who you are and you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Though you can be impatient and critical, you are also funny and nice. You smile a lot, and that makes others smile.

Though you can certainly hold a grudge, your instincts and intuition are usually spot-on and you are an admirable judge of character.

Though you sometimes can’t keep up with all of them, you have ideas. BIG ideas! And you do follow through on quite a few.

Though you are quick to express anger, you are also quick to show compassion. Don’t apologize for your extremes – they are part of what makes you intriguing.

Though you have been unable to share the last thirteen years with her, your mom would be very interested in the woman you’ve become and oh-so-proud as well.*

Though you’ve stumbled and resisted, you’ve pushed yourself out of your comfort zone again and again and it has opened up new vistas for you.

Though you’ve chosen an unconventional path to raising children, you’ve given your sons the gifts of curiosity and independence. They are determined, creative, and good young men.

Though you may have periods of doubt and despair, you keep going no matter what. Remember to always hold your head high.

Much love to you.
 
 
Why is it so distasteful to tell ourselves that we are beautiful, smart, strong, and courageous? Love must come from within. In fact, I’m going to add a few lines to my letter right now:

April, you are a magnetic force who lights up a room. You are energetic and you make things happen. I admire and appreciate you, and I like spending time with you. You are noteworthy, my dear.
 
 

 
 
Take some time today to write yourself a love letter. Then take that extra step and share your words with me here. Proclaim your brilliance to the world! (If it sincerely feels uncomfortable, at least let me know what you experienced during the process.)
 
 
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*April 15 was the thirteenth anniversary of my mom’s death. Grief is a slippery, unpredictable companion – one I haven’t fully enjoyed getting to know on such a personal level. Simply stated, I miss my mom.
 
 
“Grief changes shape, but it never ends.” (Keanu Reeves)
 
 
when she died,
my existence split in two.

that innocent and childlike,
bubbling-just-beneath-the-surface joy
forever stolen away.
 
 
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I am thrilled and honored to be one of the guides in an incredible new collaboration . . . a delightful place for women to congregate and learn from other women. Please check us out at mindfulist.com and join in the movement!
 
 
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