i’ve been thinking a lot lately
about how others see me
how i come across
and if it’s at all similar
to how i see myself
who do they think i am?
what do they think i can do?
when do they think i feel strong, feel weak?
where do they think i concentrate my efforts?
why do they think i believe the things i believe?
and what DO they think i believe?
because sometimes i’m pretty sure
that people don’t really get me
i’m not concerned or troubled
simply curious
an interesting puzzle to sort through
i share a lot of myself on social media
yet i don’t ever go as deep as i could
and i’ve noticed myself relating less and less
to those that i once had so much in common with
feeling like an absolute island most days
at the same time i’ve felt the need for
transformation, and a deep healing
has been taking place inside of me
while the pink house receives its visible renewal
i too have begun my own inner restoration
i’m beginning to remember the person i truly am
the person that has felt so very far away
so often out of touch these last three years
the april-i-remember
is re-emerging once again
always reinventing myself
“falling slowly, eyes that know me
and i can’t go back
moods that take me and erase me
and i’m painted black”
(lyrics from falling slowly)
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