just plain tough

this is a difficult post to write. it’s always hard admitting to moments of raw weakness.

my recent trip to the states brought a lot of things to light, including things i perhaps wasn’t ready or willing to bring out of the darkness. i thought about listing some of them here, to help me take stock of what’s in front of me and to begin publicly processing my way through it. but then i thought that might make me sound ungrateful.

and really, i’m not. i’ve been fortunate enough to pursue many opportunities and enjoy many experiences. i appreciate and am thankful for all that i have and have had, for all of the freedom and beauty that has come my way.

but i’m human. and things are just plain tough right now.

i’m a good coach and i like to think i’ve helped a lot of people through the years. i most certainly do not, and never will, have everything all figured out though. and i currently find myself struggling.

my recent trip to the u.s. was not only a physical journey, it was an emotional journey as well. things i’d thought to be stable, solid, secure were suddenly crashing down around me, leaving feelings of bewilderment and despair. i’ve let people down, people i care deeply about. i’ve disappointed them in ways that surprise (even shock) me, having never realized the magnitude of their pain. disillusionment reigns. and at this point, i don’t even know if i can make things right again.

i read this beautiful passage today, written by dr. kelly flanagan, and his words resonated so very much with me:

“A therapist with true authority is someone who’s gone on a journey into their own inner world. Into their own mess. Into their own pain. Into their own hiddenness. They’ve ventured all the way into their own humanity and, along the way, they’ve discovered a few essential things about what it means to heal.

It’s scary to unhide what we’ve hidden, even from ourselves. It hurts to dig through our mess and our brokenness and our disappointments and our sorrow. There are dark, dark stretches along the interior road . . . But, at the heart of each of us, is a light — a flicker, perhaps, a guttering flame, an ember waiting on oxygen, but a light nonetheless. Rediscovering it, and fanning it back to life, doesn’t happen overnight. But it can be done. Patiently. Steadily. And eventually, joyously.

A therapist isn’t on a higher path; they are simply a stone’s throw ahead of you on your path — this human path we are all walking.”

yes, kelly. there are indeed dark, dark stretches along the interior road. and i’m experiencing one of those dark stretches here and now.

i’m doing it though. i’m taking that arduous journey within, hoping to emerge with answers, and with a better and deeper understanding that i’ll later be able to share with clients. “at the heart of each of us, is a light — a flicker, perhaps . . . but a light nonetheless.” i’m searching, somewhat desperately at the moment, for that sometimes-elusive but always-welcome flicker of light. i know it’s there. i’ve seen strength materialize from weakness, in me and in others, over and over and over again.

i do know one thing for sure. i need to take good care of myself along the way.

i’ve noticed that many women tend to feel guilty for nourishing themselves when they need it the most. but i’d never really included myself in that group. until recently.

while on my u.s. holiday, i experienced several health-related issues and came face-to-face with a number of emotional issues as well. i had no choice but to push through them (complaining, of course, but still accomplishing what i needed to in the little time i had available). i was both body-sick and heart-sick, and i felt exhausted. but i just kept telling myself that i’d take time to recuperate when i was once again home in italy.

why? why do we do that? we need to take care of ourselves. always, consciously, wholly, now.

maybe because we need to be at our best when others need us, but also (hopefully) to look and feel and be our best for OURSELVES. eager and ready to do our life’s work in this world. eager and ready to embrace the satisfaction and fulfillment that each day can bring.

i’ve decided to take my own travel size course, NOURISHMENT #3, as a refresher. to remind myself what i am constantly telling my clients to do every day; specifically, that nourishing the body and soul is crucial to a healthy and meaningful existence. i’m planning to do the short readings and daily activities for 5 days (september 11-15), to grasp the nourishment that comes forth with both hands, and to hang on tight to the lessons.

unfortunately over the past month or so, i have found little time to devote to my business. as a result, i have been negligent in my marketing efforts for both my upcoming 5-day course on NOURISHMENT and for my upcoming retreat, THE ARRIVAL. this has allowed little lead time for other women to make decisions about their own self-care. so i’ve decided to make things easier on myself and for others (nourishing us all in the process).

if you would like to join me in the travel size course next week, here is your best chance! i’m slashing the price to JUST $27! (with refunds going to all who have already signed up.) i don’t know when i’ll ever do this again (i think the fee is already quite fair), so please take advantage of this incredible offer!

of course, there is one catch to all of this . . . you have to act quickly because we’re starting next monday, september 11!

in addition, i have decided to cancel/postpone my october retreat. for all of the reasons listed above (and also because i have 5 sets of visitors coming to villa magnolia between mid-sepember and mid-october, leaving inadequate time to properly prepare). i am planning TWO retreats for 2018 instead, in may and in september. (the exact dates will be announced soon, but please keep those months in mind.)

so, there you are . . . proof of my vulnerability, a chance to take a great class at a reduced rate, and a heads-up regarding two possibilities to attend THE ARRIVAL in italy during 2018!
 
 
[NOTE: i am saddened on a daily basis to hear about the extreme loss resulting from recent fires, hurricanes and other catastrophes. though i am dealing with my own personal woes, my concern about the safety and well-being of others has in no way lessened. my heart goes out to all who have been affected by these disasters.]
 
 
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have you checked out my travel size courses?
mini versions of each essential element
from my signature online course, THE ARRIVAL.

the third mini course in this series,
NOURISHMENT #3
will soon be here!

join me september 11 through 15,
on this amazing journey.
back to self, back to your very essence.

ignite your own revolutionary path,
as you choose, clarify, chase, and catch
your long-held dreams.

retreat no more.
choose to arrive.
 
 
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click to receive my studio notes in your inbox each week.
(and receive my first travel size course, AWARENESS #1, as my complimentary gift to you!)
 
 
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