january was
a hard month
spent questioning
myself, my motives
missing what was
what will never be
didn’t wanna
get out of bed
didn’t wanna
take showers
didn’t wanna
leave the house
finally admitting that
counselors get blue too
the calendar pages
flipping into february
my mood staying the same
sorry for myself
and then
rachel died
a bright sunny 13yo
who valiantly fought for two years
smiling, brave and strong,
throughout her cruel cancer
her amazing family
allowing her story to be told
i know that depression
is complicated
and i know many
suffer unendurable pain
but for me, today,
something changed
what-the-hell had i been thinking?
don’t wanna waste another moment
*******
come see me in italy (don’t waste another moment)
