i’ve had a fairly frequent visitor recently.
one i haven’t welcomed with open arms.
in fact, i’ve grown restless during these social calls.
waiting for them to come to a close.
and i’ve also noticed other things happening while my visitor is present.
a burning in my chest.
sharply contrasting with an icy chill in my heart.
“go away. go away.”
i whisper silently to myself.
to the sensations.
to the visitor.
remembering to breathe helps.
1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.
letting go of unhelpful beliefs tends to soothe my discomfort as well.
and, in between visits, self-care becomes important.
delighting in things that bring me joy.
but these practices still feel somewhat incomplete.
i find myself dangling in a precarious balance.
between complacency and anger.
it is time to tell my visitor that we simply must stop seeing each other.
because this relationship is just not working out.
i need to move on, put my emotional health first.
and then i need to forgive and forget, not dwell in regret.
so i’m saying my goodbyes.
i am gently but firmly pushing my visitor through the door.
cutting off all lines of communication.
(i think it best that i make a clean break.)
i feel stronger, having made this decision.
my mind is clearer already.
oh, and my visitor’s name?
RESENTMENT.
don’t let it come knocking.
have you ever felt deep resentment towards something or someone?
how have you attempted to deal with it?
tell me about it in the comments.
Wow! I am speechless, this really spoke to me. Wow! Thank you.
Deep resentment that last for days, years, months – yes, I have been there…the kind of resentment that slowly eats away at your desire to connect more fully to someone you love and at one point couldn’t imagine your life without – yes, I’ve been there too. I’ve learned to deal with resentment by focusing on what is working, what I appreciate about the situation and the person, and reminding myself that I need to take my power back and live in a healthy frame of mind to be my best self and show up fully each day! It takes a lot of practice…another post that completely draws you in, April!!
I’ve had that visited in my house way too often. The good news is that the older I get, the more I find it only hurts me to think about resentment so I’m less likely to let it in. As you say, it disturbs your self-care! Thank you for a great reminder April!
I think we’ve all had issues with resentment through the years. Mine stems from times when my kindness and thoughtfulness were taken for granted. Or when I sacrificed my own needs to satisfy others. As I’ve matured, I remind myself that it is okay to say “no” and let others down in a gentle manner. No matter the age, we are always learning and growing.
I’m being pestered by a similar visitor this week: its name is Fear of Change. It clenches my chest until I can’t breathe, and yet refuses the door whenever I ask it to leave. Perhaps I need to take your advice and just send it packing. Rather take courage from the quote that’s currently on the bottom of your list to the right.
Ooh April – that is so interesting – I just became conscious to this visitor being present in my life. Once conscious, I was able to release the visitor and things are so much lighter. No more visits and it feels good, no – it feels great xx
I have totally struggled with resentment. Sometimes I feel like I’ve released it, and moved on, only to have it come knocking again. Would love to know more about how to deal with it once it has already moved in. Thanks for the great post.
Enjoy your trip April! “Remember to breathe” and yes count…I gave up the demon of resentment years ago..over-analysis sometimes sneaks up on me.
Resentment? I thought you were talking about the men I’ve dated. 😉
And yes, letting go of resentment is a part of the process of letting go of those relationships. Forgiveness and time. Time and forgiveness.
Yeah, resentment and I go back a long way. Long, painful relationship, messy break-up and now, I have a restraining order against this visitor. My process of dealing with it has involved forgiveness for everyone involved, including myself. I know of nothing more toxic to our health and wellness than resentment. Thank you for sharing this.
Wonderful as always April! I’m always captivated reading your work, and this week was no exception! I’m so glad you ended that nasty relationship and kicked resentment to the curb! You are so gifted! Thank you for sharing that gift with the rest of us!
I am working hard at trying to eliminate the attachment to a particular outcome. That is when I have the best chance at releasing resentment.
I’ve dealt with that visitor before. It’s never a good feeling when it’s here. Learning to prevent that creeper in the first place is a good thing to practice. uggghhh and it does take does practice!
Love this post. I too struggle with unwanted visitors from time to time – and although I know I need to send them packing, it’s often easier said than done!
Yes, I’ve been feeling this creeping in lately too around one of my bridge jobs, I hate the fact that I feel resentful and its reassuring to hear other people are feeling the same way!
Love this! Resentment is so much more harmful to the one holding it than the personal, place, or thing it is directed at. It is only when we can let go of it that we are able to find peace.
Yes, yes, and YES!