yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. (who’s familiar with the wonderful children’s book with those words in its title?)
i thought about telling you all about it, even wrote it all out. but then i decided against sharing it, after reading (and weeping) about a family my niece knows who unexpectedly lost their 12-year-old son this month. suddenly all of my worries – even though a few have lingering and troubling effects – seemed small in comparison. i felt ashamed for complaining.
and that was actually my third attempt at writing today’s blog post. i was originally going to do an update on my word of the year for 2018. but i found i hadn’t quite gathered my thoughts enough to come up with a coherent and cohesive synopsis. it’s been a complicated year.
then i wrote a rambling, somewhat disconnected free-write about my current emotional state. i know some of my readers may have been able to identify with my thoughts, as i’m quite sure we all spend days – perhaps weeks, maybe even months – floundering a bit. you know that sense of sometimes being unable to grasp life in fruitful or effective ways, beyond what is absolutely necessary? not expanding or stretching much further than needed. it’s been a creative time, if not a productive time (if that makes any sense at all).
finally, i gave up on all three ideas and decided to just zero in on the present. on what’s happening right now, during this moment in time.
so, borrowing from other currently i am lists i’ve seen, this is what i came up with:
- wearing: lots of black
- eating: lots of sushi
- listening to: billie eilish music (nonstop)
- reading: the “alphabet” series by sue grafton, about a private eye named kinsey millhone (second time through)
- loving: the way my qigong practice grounds me and brings me peace
- watching: recordings of this season’s “the voice” on youtube
- feeling: unsettled
- studying: italian (slowly and painfully) and art therapy (self-healing techniques)
- anticipating: seeing my 2 sons at christmas (they’re coming to italy again!)
- planning: my may 2019 retreat
okay, now it’s your turn. tell me what you’re currently . . .
- wearing
- eating
- listening to
- reading
- loving
- watching
- feeling
- studying
- anticipating
- planning
please play along, either in the comments below or on my facebook or instagram pages. i’d love to hear what’s going on in your lives!
*******
wearing: fuzzy pajama pants. They are the best!
eating: lots of veggies.
listening to: Christmas music
reading: The Saturday Evening Girls Club ( from Prime Reading. I’m not sure if it’s good yet as I just started reading).
loving: my husband. He’s awesome.
watching: my kids!
feeling: happy
studying: piano
anticipating: Christmas
planning: to bake 200 cookies this week
Iam…
Wearing my favorite grey boiled wool, zippered jacket sweater.
Eating. .actually drinking my afternoon coffee with amaretto. 🙂
Listening…And watching Ellen.
Reading my emails
Loving … having all my kids around this year for the holidays.
Still watching Ellen 😀
Feeling tired! I work with special needs kids.
Studying …sort of, Italian through Duolingo.
A trip this weekend to attend a Christmas Cantata my son is directing at is church in NJ.
Planning… Nothing right now.