Category Archives: my studio notes

the untangling (part 2)

Posted on August 31, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

finding our way back . . .
 
 

 
 
~ and reconnecting ~
 
 

 
 
still lots to sort out
 
 

 
 
 
 

Filed Under: my studio notes

gangway connections

Posted on August 24, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

we start to make plans
and then we hesitate

one thing pulls us forward
another holds us back

the old is again new
and the new is now old

a mixed-up myriad of
thoughts and feelings
swirling around and through

people and places beckon
people and places secure

experiences and memories
tether us in unexpected ways

like moving through gangway connections
on a speeding train

trying to balance without
but ultimately having to grab the rail
when the coach lurches

we’ve created more than one life
attached ourselves to both

questioning what’s realistic and true
as we step into the future

back and forth
back and forth

once more on that transitional precipice
where answers are elusive
liminal space unsettling


 
 
 
 

Filed Under: my studio notes

we think we know

Posted on August 17, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

we think we know
but we don’t

why that guy
cut us off in traffic

why the waitress at our favorite lunch spot
was snippy with us today

why that young woman
is crying in target

we think we know
but we don’t

why the lady in gray
purses her lips in disapproval

why that little boy
rarely wears shoes

why the grocery store checker
never seems to smile

we think we know
but we don’t

we say “oh he’s just a jerk”
or we imagine she’s being abused
neither might be right
yet both may be true

we think we know
but we don’t

assumptions
conjectures
speculations

sometimes helpful
sometimes dangerous

we think we know
but we don’t
 
 
 
 

Filed Under: my studio notes

moon musings

Posted on August 11, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

the moon.
so mysterious.

lighting up the night sky, guiding our way in darkness. influencing both the tides of the ocean and our tumultuous emotions.
 
 
“don’t worry if you’re making waves just by being yourself. The moon does it all the time.”
~scott stabile
 
 

 
 
the moon.

Filed Under: my studio notes

begin the momentum

Posted on August 3, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

we just need to begin.

wherever there is motion,
there is momentum,
and we can easily begin the process.

of course, there will be obstacles,
things that get in the way of
our wheels turning efficiently.

simply be aware.
notice and adjust.

Filed Under: my studio notes

rethinking boredom

Posted on July 27, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

last week i posed this question in my women’s facebook group when was the last time you uttered the words “i’m bored” and what did you do about it?

only a few seemed to fully relate to this topic. most said they had never been bored, or hadn’t been bored in years, or couldn’t remember the last time they’d been bored.

Filed Under: my studio notes

peace. love. joy.

Posted on July 20, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

peace. love. joy.

are we promised these in life?

my mind wanders to instances of opposites.

strife where peace is longed for. hatred in place of love. sadness occurring for so many reasons, instead of the joy we all crave (and deserve).

Filed Under: my studio notes

halfway there

Posted on July 13, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

i wrote a blog post two months ago entitled echo not expected. it was all about feeling distant, disconnected, and detached from my body, and my plan to pay more attention to myself . . . to awaken, move, and nourish.

Filed Under: my studio notes

paper doll existence

Posted on July 6, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

during my fourth year in italy
i suddenly noticed i wasn’t
feeling the feelings
in the same way i always had

i wrote about it in several
july 2020 diary entries
that i’ve been rereading
and would like to revisit here

emotional expression has always been
super intense for me
a huge part of my personality

and suddenly it seemed blunted
i just felt numb
much of the time

i wasn’t really feeling anger
or excitement or anything
to the extent i used to

(except maybe fear
that one was most dominant)
anyway, i hated it

i am april
and i emote
this was not me

like some paper doll existence
a facsimile of my real essence

i wondered as i wrote
how i would ever get my mojo back
and truly enjoy living again

i continued to question myself
in the months to come
in the pages of my journal

what i really wanted
what i really needed
constantly in my mind

was italy the best place for me?

Filed Under: my studio notes

honesty

Posted on June 29, 2022 by April Lee • 0 Comments

we share our lives, our personal stories, through our words. it is the way we engage and interact and exist on a daily basis, the way we survive in this big wide world. we all know how vitally important it is to be listened to and understood.

Filed Under: my studio notes

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