Category Archives: my studio notes

crazy daisy

at sixty-years-plus-two-months of age, various random musings keep floating through my head. here are a few:
 

  • summer solstice yesterday, and very cold june weather
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  • the phrase crazy daisy, not sure where it came from (the sprinkler? the shasta variety?) but liking the way it sounds and thinking it might soon feature-in-my-future
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  • sometimes i really wish i could live in two places at once, missing italy (and missing my older son who’s currently traveling through europe)
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  • had my sixth injection yesterday, it went well despite a slight snafu (and yes it does matter who administers the shot)
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  • fighting my latest battle, always a conflict-of-the-day (i tend to confront whenever i feel slighted/unfairly treated)
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  • younger son’s new living arrangements are pretty cool
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  • for a few different personal reasons, i sadly took the pink house off the list for this fall’s wallace home tour
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  • so many vivid detailed mini-series-type dreams lately, not all very pleasant either
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  • life sometimes feels like a wild carnival ride
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    i’ve long been a fan of martha graham

    this quote was included
    in the lovely words
    a friend shared with
    me on my last day
    of physical therapy

    so poetic
    so apt
    so truly
    perfect

    especially since
    i hadn’t told her
    i’ve long been a fan
    of martha graham

    but especially since
    i hadn’t told her
    (or anyone yet) that
    i’ve begun dancing again

    gently, slowly
    tentatively, cautiously
    the movement initiating
    its reawakening

    beautiful bones
    delicate strength
    the choreography and
    rhythmic art flow
    of our everyday lives
     
     
     
     

    strawberries & cream

    the truth is one
    completes the other
    though it can be
    easy to lose track

    sometimes it feels like
    that song skinny love
    just trying to last
    through the fragile eras

    the moments slipping
    by untouched and
    unnoticed, unable
    to be retrieved

    taken for granted
    slighted or aggrieved
    no one ever as perfect
    as the other needs

    both just trying to
    live those best lives
    day by day

    always reaching for
    the stars, not often
    left disappointed

    but once in a while
    a bit scraped up
    metaphorically bruised

    goodbyes and regrets
    hellos and promises
    enduring, enriching

    fighting for that
    individual voice
    but also striving
    to mesh as well

    passport stamps
    strawberries & cream
    living united
    living free
     
     
     
     

    six seconds

    every morning for me
    begins the same
    feeding my harlowe-girl
    her breakfast

    she prefers ice cubes in her
    water and she likes her
    moist food heated for
    precisely six seconds

    the regularity
    of this ritual
    comforts me each
    day upon awakening

    it’s become a zen-like habit
    bringing peace and calm
    creating a rhythmic cadence
    to the rest of my waking hours
     
     
     
     

    entrances and exits

    ups and downs
    entrances and exits
    arrivals and departures

    sometimes life feels like a hurricane
    difficult days
    sad emotional days
    momentous wonderful days too

    but wherever there is motion
    there is momentum
    and we can always begin again

    to recapture our energy
    to realign with our rhythm
    to concentrate on feeling whole again

    of course there will be obstacles
    things that get in the way

    we must cut ourselves some slack
    when the “to do” list
    doesn’t line up exactly with the “done” list

    because beating ourselves up
    for not being perfect
    ultimately defeats
    the entire purpose of living

    we know there will be those days
    days when we’re sick or tired or injured
    days when we’re feeling really down

    so we must try our hardest
    to avoid rigidity
    and welcome flexibility
    to make adjustments
    when and where we can

    to go gently
    to not make excuses
    to just notice and forgive
    adjust and restart

    to absolutely stop watching
    the highway of life pass us by
    and jump into the car with
    the smoothest ride

    ups and downs
    entrances and exits
    arrivals and departures

    me, masked
    sestri levante, italy
    8 july 2020


     
     
     
     

    completely missed april

    i feel as if i completely
    missed april
    and may has only been
    halfway mine

    my time taken up with
    surgery and helplessness
    therapy and healing
    limiting my normal activity

    the mind focusing
    where it must
    things that seemed
    so important
    falling down down
    down in priority

    a well-built machine
    the human body
    doing what it can to
    protect and to care

    amazing me daily
    with its capacity
    to regenerate
    to repair

    a marvel for sure
    and i am oh-so-close
    almost there
     
     
     
     

    the optimistic tulip

    it’s been a
    wild and wacky entrance

    late snowfalls
    cool temperatures
    even a broken wrist

    but spring has finally sprung
    at my north idaho haven

    the tulips at the pink house
    bringing a drop of loveliness and
    a promise of hope with each bloom


     
     
     
     

    healing is a season


     
     
    healing
    is so complicated
    and demands a letting go

    a gift our body gives to us
    recovering from that
    which brings us low

    healing
    a forced quietness,
    a relaxing, going slow

    healing
    is a season and a
    magic all its own
     
     
    a season to be recognized
    and nurtured,
    to embrace

    allowing necessary
    transformations
    to take place

    opening us up
    to vulnerability and a
    new compassionate space

    healing
    is a season and a
    magic filled with grace
     
     

    and isn’t spring the
    perfect season for
    this new beginning?

    celebrate despite the brokenness

    one month ago, left arm intact

     
     
    after the fall with my new twisted wrist

     
     
    heading into surgery, dreaded IV inserted

     
     
    two weeks post-op with a hardware assist

     
     
    it’s been quite a month
    not really what i’d planned

    but today i’m turning sixty
    celebrating who i am
     
     
     
     

    little world bubbles

    hi. i apologize that my studio notes didn’t go out last week. i ended up having surgery on my broken wrist last tuesday, and just wasn’t feeling up to it. i still haven’t returned to my desk & laptop, so this week i’m sharing a 6-minute freewrite i did on monday instead.