i started a new practice this year.
at the beginning of each month, i excavate all of the goodness of the previous month.
and i sum it all up in a facebook post.
the months of april and may presented trying and tricky times for my family.
i started a new practice this year.
at the beginning of each month, i excavate all of the goodness of the previous month.
and i sum it all up in a facebook post.
the months of april and may presented trying and tricky times for my family.
my feelings were hurt this week.
and since it involved something close to my heart,
i immediately became defensive.
but then i stopped myself.
i decided to think more about what had been said,
to see if the accusation did indeed fit.
the daily show reported recently that scientists in japan had invented a robot that is capable of recognizing its own reflection in a mirror. “when the robot learns to hate what it sees,” said jon stewart, “it will have achieved full humanity.” (steven pressfield)
funny because it’s true.
the month of april brought naysayers.
one of the toughest parts of following a dream.
not everyone is going to understand or agree with the decisions i make.
i know this.
and i still do what i need to anyway.
then why, every once in awhile, does it hit me so hard?
an idea pops into your head,
simmering for awhile.
eventually, continuing to boil,
a dream is hatched.
steaming and bubbling and percolating.
rolling itself into a burning desire.
pull it apart.
dissect it.
pound it.
tear it up.
or simply lay it out.
once upon a time,
in one of my former lives,
i had a front door that was painted red.
a beautiful uplifting red,
cheery and inviting.
and perfect therapy for those long
(very long) winter months.
just a door.
just some paint.
semi-seclusion
and a fountain of tears.
fear and panic forcing reflexes
of failure and doubt.
about to give up the struggle, the effort.
in a brief weak moment,
on the precipice of surrender.
approaching the brink.
and at the last second,
hanging on to the slippery edge
in a burst of daring determination.
after a long night, lying wide awake,
worrying, tossing and turning,
i was happy to see the sun.*
“behind the pleasure and fresh beauty of sunrise, i detect an old and primitive response: the day has come again, no dark god swallowed it during the night.”
~frances mayes
my days and nights are full to overflowing at the moment.