Category Archives: my studio notes

such splendor

THE ARRIVAL (during)
 
 
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woo hoo!

reunited. finally.

me, kellee, carol - arrivals in italy
me, kellee, carol in italy

my retreat staff has arrived. 🙂
 
 
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i look up at the moon

moon and pink clouds

when i’m feeling weary,
clear through to my core.
when my mind can’t think another thought,
when my body screams no more.

so many roads traveled,
yet still so far to go.
under the moon’s illuminating,
gently-guiding glow.

i look up at the moon,
and the moon looks back at me.

the idea

hey! i have an idea!

why don’t we leave our family and friends (including our 2 sons) and move to a foreign country, where we will be totally overwhelmed by a new culture and a new language?

and let’s take it one step further and go through the slow, complicated immigration process to stay legal and become residents (and eventually citizens).

5 things i know about pursuing a dream

5 things i know about pursuing a dream:

  1.  it takes a long long time.
  2.  it’s a lot of very hard work.
  3. there are many many setbacks.
  4. sometimes it seems certain it will never come to pass.
  5. knowing (finally) that it is actually about to happen makes #1-4 totally worthwhile.

the end goal

i try to stay as positive and upbeat as i can. i really do. and i’m usually successful. but the last two-and-a-half weeks have been a bit more than i’ve felt able to handle. they have tried my soul.

  • worrying about two family members, realizing our helplessness from afar
  • spending hours, once again, inside the complicated mix of immigration requirements
  • missing cues and clues, leading to a misunderstanding with a friend
  • shopping for cars, when we had no time to spare from renovation work
  • buying a car, with very different procedures for insurance and registration
  • sifting through still more piles of moldy dirty trash, even more disgusting when it’s someone else’s stuff
  • continuing to spread dust throughout the house, all over our floors and furniture and cats and clothes
  • voicing irritability and tension in unproductive ways
  • breaking a beautiful beloved vase (a wedding gift from a dear friend/cousin that has traveled everywhere with us for almost 29 years – including all the way to italy), trying to glue it back together, being forced to say a final goodbye
  • dealing with several odd health ailments
  • experiencing two small-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things-but-still-disappointing developments
  • encountering a disturbingly rude individual (not of italian descent)
  • feeling TIRED TIRED TIRED, every single day, to the point that i cannot form a coherent sentence

 
my favorite flowers in my favorite vase
 
 
however, despite my very long list of complaints (and in a nod to last week’s “mindful” post), eric and i both continue to notice something positive.

unequivocally mindful

what does it really and truly mean . . .

1) to be mindful?
2) to live in the present?
3) to not dwell in the past?
4) to not worry about the future?
5) to revel in the moment?
 
 
well, when you are in a foreign-to-you country, in the midst of .

the saddest word in the dictionary.

things have been sailing along.

lots of progress with the villa renovations.
happy excitement while planning my retreat.
positive and inspiring updates from a & n (sons) in the u.s.

and then a phone call, in the wee hours monday morning.

my everyday life. in italy.

wikipedia defines “everyday life” as that which
“comprises the ways in which people typically
act, think, and feel on a daily basis.”

though it still sounds like a fantastical oxymoron to me,
here are some recent examples of
my everyday life.

the weather, a milestone, and future sparks

rain and wind at vm 4

RAIN.
beating against the windowpanes.

WIND.
so violent it kept me awake during the night.

COLD.
unseasonably cool, and a concrete house that isn’t always cozy.

rain and wind at vm 5

following a fabulously fun birthday,
i’ve had a surprisingly sad week.
not-so-cheery news, combined with a list of physical ills,
propelling me into a bleak kind of funk.