Category Archives: my studio notes

pause, gap, hesitation, hiatus, sigh

not exactly sure what to call it
pause, gap, hesitation, hiatus, sigh
but i’ve been at a bit of a standstill

truthfully i have been stumbling along
which means there have been no blog posts
for a long long while

i have, however, been sharing my thoughts on social media
every day since the official lockdown in italy began
today is day 66, day 88 for me personally
since i’d already been quarantined inside
with a bad case of shingles

my emotions have been all over the place
up, down, and everywhere in between
as i’ve lived my own experience
watched and read, been confused by, the news
and witnessed the reactions of others

so i decided to begin sharing
some of my previously-recorded-thoughts
here on my blog over the next few weeks
my small individual glimpse of the pandemic
primarily in italy, but around the world too

and from there, who knows?

makes me smile

i don’t have much of myself to give today
(fighting shingles takes a lot of energy)
so i thought i’d share this page instead

it’s from an old appointment book of my dad’s
found while going through his things last summer
apparently he liked to save quotes, just like me

makes me smile

(and oh, how i loved his handwriting)
 
 
*******
 
 

THE ARRIVAL #5
 
 
 
 

it’s your turn now

Today, as I continue preparing for my fifth retreat at Villa Magnolia in May, I’d like to share something with you. Beautiful words written by my amazing retreat family, the inspiring and courageous women who attended the first four magical sessions of THE ARRIVAL in Italy .

don’t waste another moment

january was
a hard month

spent questioning
myself, my motives

missing what was
what will never be

didn’t wanna
get out of bed

didn’t wanna
take showers

didn’t wanna
leave the house

finally admitting that
counselors get blue too

the calendar pages
flipping into february

my mood staying the same
sorry for myself
 
 
and then
rachel died

a bright sunny 13yo
who valiantly fought for two years

smiling, brave and strong,
throughout her cruel cancer

her amazing family
allowing her story to be told
 
 
i know that depression
is complicated

and i know many
suffer unendurable pain

but for me, today,
something changed

what-the-hell had i been thinking?

the dream, the atmosphere

Mark your calendars and get your passports ready
for another magical retreat-no-more experience in Tuscany!

MAY 24-29, 2020

 
 
Yes, it’s that time again . . . time for THE ARRIVAL #5 in Italy!

Let me take a few minutes today to tell you a little about the WHY behind my retreat .

one step

i take one step
it feels tentative, scary

but i stay there
i wait, i breathe
i’m okay
 
 
i walk another step
it feels a tiny bit easier

i straighten my spine
i wait, i breathe
i’m okay
 
 
i risk a third step
it feels stronger, bolder

i smile a small smile
i wait, i breathe
i’m okay
 
 
i take a fourth and final step
and it feels expansive

now i know
i don’t need to wait any longer
i’m breathing deeply

i’ll be okay
 
 
“life dances and you must dance with it.”
~phillip moffitt

 
 
 
 

bothered that you are bothered

Last week, a client described an interaction she’d had that “bothered her.” She later said, several times, that it bothered her that she was bothered. I’ve been thinking about that statement ever since.

Say you have an encounter with someone, and you’re left feeling hurt or frustrated.

untangling my rhythm

announcing my 2020 word of the year . . .

RHYTHM

(as in, getting mine back ?)

i decided to create a collage, with pictures of myself that bring up memories of feeling happy, in sync, full of energy. that exude my natural RHYTHM.

invitation to my word-of-the-year brainstorming session

i’ve been exploring / imagining / pondering several different words for 2020. and honestly? i’ve never had such a hard time choosing my word of the year!

several have been considered. two speak to me the loudest . . .
 
 
first, MOMENTUM.

welcome 2020

did you celebrate new year’s eve, welcoming in 2020?
 
 
the last day of 2019 was kinda crazy for me:

  • i went through a box labeled “mommy’s treasures” and cried (because it was MY mom who wrote that on the lid)
  • i packed to return to italy
  • i tripped backwards over a lawnmower in the dark garage .