sometimes we know what we wish we could hear
the words that would confirm what’s in our hearts
yet sometimes those reassurances just aren’t there
and we have to figure life out without them
sometimes it makes us stronger
sometimes it makes us bolder
but we often let it crush us
allow it to make us feel less than
these are the times we fear
the times we dread
the times we go to all ends
to try and avoid
we can’t run though
challenges have a way of trickling through
the best part?
foggy thoughts
rainy days
extreme chills
blankets
headache
acetaminophen
rest
ninja warriors
twitching nerves
kind friends
achy muscles
cat nurse
flu brain
slow motion
spinning world
stillness
no appetite
good book
low energy
cheery blooms
asthma cough
rare sun
life-on-hold
comfort soup
my last six days
tweet
since i’ve been under the weather
and since the weather itself
has been wildly fluctuating
and since my life is feeling a bit wild too
this week i’ve decided to resurrect
an old blog post from january 2015
asking what i think is a very important question
that we should try to answer from time to time
“the most common despair is not choosing, or willing, to be oneself.
i’ve been feeling kind of off lately. same ol’ same ol’ in many ways, yet the sensation always seems fresh and raw.
physically, due to my most recent samter’s flare-up. after nine weeks of clear sinuses following a round of prednisone and iodine rinses, it’s disappointing to return to the land of the mouth-breathers.
for the past five years, i’ve enjoyed facilitating a women’s group on facebook. at the beginning of each week, i pose a monday musings question for the members to ponder and discuss. this week i asked the following question
someone in the group said she assumed that i was referring to body image.
i finally started updating a few things on my website this week. when i got to the “facts & favorites” section, i realized two things: 1) my favorites have remained much the same throughout most of my life, and 2) it might be fun to share these lists.
four years ago, in april 2018, i wrote a blog post entitled awaken. move. nourish. it was all about how not only my mind and soul, but also my actual physical body, reacted to my international move.
over the last 18 months, since i relocated to another continent, i’ve gone through quite an upheaval.
i’ve slept in the pink house nine nights
i’ve done five loads of laundry
and set up the kitchen
i’ve arranged my toiletries
and cleaned sinks and toilets
i’ve folded my tops
and hung my dresses
i’ve searched for one item
in 44 different boxes
best of all
i’ve been warmly welcomed in the community
and yet .
you may have noticed that my studio notes are a bit late today. here’s why . . .
we’ve been moving out of winterchase
and into the pink house
i’ve moved many times throughout my adult life, short distances and long, even to a different country.
did my life even happen
if i didn’t write it down?
there’s been so very much
going on over the past
several months
lots of good things
a few sad things
new things
hard things
routine things
but because i’ve felt so
pulled in many directions
i haven’t been journaling
haven’t been filling in
my appointment book
at least glad
i’m blogging again
keeping track with facebook
just haven’t been writing
like i excessively do
this is odd and unfamiliar
behavior for me
makes me feel
detached
in a daze
out of sync
not-quite-able-to-grasp
and it leaves me
wondering
did my life even happen
if i didn’t write it down?
