subject: my second annual essence7 wellness semi-solo retreat
location: olympic national park
accommodations: little house in forks, washington
amenities: waterfalls, beaches, mountains, rainforest
my second annual retreat ended on wednesday.
i spent both time alone and time with two members of my family during the five days.
i finally recognize its calling card.
shallower breaths,
faster heartbeats.
whirling mind,
inability to focus.
FEAR is paying a visit.
so many changes.
hormonal.
relational.
geographical.
can i keep up?
can i keep going?
can i keep courageous?
sometimes my fear is a normal reaction.
we may not realize the full impact
that we have on another person.
sometimes our influence is
silent, quiet.
an unassuming quick boost over a figurative wall.
maybe an innocent kind glance as a brief hello,
that represents openness,
desperately needed by someone closed in by grief or loneliness.
difficult situations come up.
situations that frustrate, oppress, bewilder, distress.
situations that require extra thought, increased strength, expanded bravery.
what do i do,
when i don’t know what to do?
honestly?
it’s hard.
at first i have no idea what to do.
monday was my birthday.
and i have to admit . . .
it was somewhat startling to think about how many years i’ve lived.
for you see, i’ve reached an age that never seemed possible.
an age i remember my parents being not so very long ago.
There are many seasons in our lives. I am happy to currently find myself in geographical proximity to a group of close childhood friends. Over the past year, we’ve begun meeting once a month. We reminisce, we laugh, we cry, we share struggles and triumphs.
even though i’m a coach/counselor,
i’ve never been one to do traditional meditation.
but i set out one morning this week to take a meditative walk.
to see what nature could offer me.
to silence the chatter in my head.
to enable an opening for the answers to some big questions.
after a month in europe, i am back at my home base in the states.
it was an incredible journey that stretched me in many ways.
the trip included elements of both a personal and business nature.
i’ve been energized and inspired, and i now have more clarity going forward.
travel is enticing and inspiring and appealing and compelling.
except when it’s exhausting and irritating and frustrating and demanding.
i am currently on a fabulous month-long european journey with my husband.
i’m growing and adapting.
i am in france.
my days feel longer.
and my weeks move at a more delicate pace.
i go to sleep each night exhausted.
but happy and satisfied.
full of the exquisite culture.
full of the stunning landscapes.
