i am used to striking up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.
now i only understand a word or two each time i go out.
i nod and smile, feeling idiotic and inferior.
i’m living on the fringe, unable to communicate through the language fog.

this move to europe has been a long time coming.
we’ve been planning it for years,
the last fifteen months focused on
getting to italy and villa magnolia.

i’m following my dream, but it hasn’t been without hardships.
it’s been a difficult transition so far,
leaving behind everyone and everything familiar.

i have arrived in italy.

and everything is obviously feeling odd and foreign at the moment.

like remembering that i can’t do certain errands anymore,
for two and a half hours every afternoon.
it’s not what i’ve been accustomed to up until this point.

countdown to villa magnolia.
departure in just seven days.

the goodbyes have begun.
and will continue all week.

last tuesday, thursday, saturday, sunday.
dinners, coffee dates, breakfasts.

and more.
last night, tonight, tomorrow through monday.
ending with a quiet goodbye alone with my mom’s ashes.

well, we are really really doing this.
and it’s hard, as i knew it would be.
(actually it’s even harder than i thought it would be.)

but it’s a good kind of hard.
the kind that means i’m doing what i set out to do.