today, on his birthday, i’d like to acknowledge my husband, eric.

adjusting to a new country, a new culture, a new way of being over the last few years, has presented oh-so-many challenges. affecting each of us individually, but also as a couple .

i’ve said it before,
and i think it’s worth saying again.

i am here to hear your story.
i am here to listen.

my coaching consists of
unraveling and integrating,
clarifying and crystallizing.
delving into the life events that have shaped you
and brought you to this very point.

two things still bother me
almost 17 years later
 
 
after we’d finally wrenched
ourselves away
knowing you would never
smile that radiant smile again

we did what everyone
has always done
when they don’t know
what to do

we went in search of food
and the bubbly breakfast waitress
evoked something strange in me

“my mom just died” i blurted out
abruptly, without emotion
my mom, my best friend
who i would never see again
 
 
i always made my bed those days
every day, no matter what
rain or shine, late or early

but i didn’t make my bed that day
the day of your funeral

and after the condolence food
several guests made their way
up the stairs, into my room

there was chatter
there was laughter
i couldn’t really comprehend either

all i could pay attention to
was that damn unmade bed

gone forever, you were dead
and i could only focus
on the unmade bed
 
 

 
 
*******
 
 
there is sadness, there is laughter
there is struggle, there is triumph

there is also a healing haven
that allows and welcomes
all that life brings

my italian retreat
 

 
 
 
 

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^^ a sneak peek into ZEST, my latest travel size course ^^

beginning monday, february 25!

ZEST #5

 
we, as humans, need to feel A-L-I-V-E.
we need to feel as if we have a reason
to get up in the morning, a reason to exist.

i kept my word of the year to myself
during the month of january.
testing it out,
seeing how it fits.

and now the verdict is in.
it’s exactly what i need for 2019.

because sometimes i forget to EXHALE.

often, in fact.