the moon.
so mysterious.
lighting up the night sky, guiding our way in darkness. influencing both the tides of the ocean and our tumultuous emotions.
“don’t worry if you’re making waves just by being yourself. The moon does it all the time.”
~scott stabile
the moon.
we just need to begin.
wherever there is motion,
there is momentum,
and we can easily begin the process.
of course, there will be obstacles,
things that get in the way of
our wheels turning efficiently.
simply be aware.
notice and adjust.
last week i posed this question in my women’s facebook group when was the last time you uttered the words “i’m bored” and what did you do about it?
only a few seemed to fully relate to this topic. most said they had never been bored, or hadn’t been bored in years, or couldn’t remember the last time they’d been bored.
peace. love. joy.
are we promised these in life?
my mind wanders to instances of opposites.
strife where peace is longed for. hatred in place of love. sadness occurring for so many reasons, instead of the joy we all crave (and deserve).
i wrote a blog post two months ago entitled echo not expected. it was all about feeling distant, disconnected, and detached from my body, and my plan to pay more attention to myself . . . to awaken, move, and nourish.
during my fourth year in italy
i suddenly noticed i wasn’t
feeling the feelings
in the same way i always had
i wrote about it in several
july 2020 diary entries
that i’ve been rereading
and would like to revisit here
emotional expression has always been
super intense for me
a huge part of my personality
and suddenly it seemed blunted
i just felt numb
much of the time
i wasn’t really feeling anger
or excitement or anything
to the extent i used to
(except maybe fear
that one was most dominant)
anyway, i hated it
i am april
and i emote
this was not me
like some paper doll existence
a facsimile of my real essence
i wondered as i wrote
how i would ever get my mojo back
and truly enjoy living again
i continued to question myself
in the months to come
in the pages of my journal
what i really wanted
what i really needed
constantly in my mind
was italy the best place for me?
we share our lives, our personal stories, through our words. it is the way we engage and interact and exist on a daily basis, the way we survive in this big wide world. we all know how vitally important it is to be listened to and understood.
sometimes we know what we wish we could hear
the words that would confirm what’s in our hearts
yet sometimes those reassurances just aren’t there
and we have to figure life out without them
sometimes it makes us stronger
sometimes it makes us bolder
but we often let it crush us
allow it to make us feel less than
these are the times we fear
the times we dread
the times we go to all ends
to try and avoid
we can’t run though
challenges have a way of trickling through
the best part?
foggy thoughts
rainy days
extreme chills
blankets
headache
acetaminophen
rest
ninja warriors
twitching nerves
kind friends
achy muscles
cat nurse
flu brain
slow motion
spinning world
stillness
no appetite
good book
low energy
cheery blooms
asthma cough
rare sun
life-on-hold
comfort soup
my last six days
tweet
since i’ve been under the weather
and since the weather itself
has been wildly fluctuating
and since my life is feeling a bit wild too
this week i’ve decided to resurrect
an old blog post from january 2015
asking what i think is a very important question
that we should try to answer from time to time
“the most common despair is not choosing, or willing, to be oneself.
