Author Archives: April Lee

own your unique expression

have you ever really listened to the
constant stories you tell yourself?
do they help propel you forward,
or do they merely hold you back?

sometimes the stories in our minds
don’t allow us to be the strong
creative individuals we know we can be

sometimes what we say to ourselves
both limits and traps us

negative self-talk
self-defeating beliefs
obsessive thoughts
all can seriously sabotage one’s life

when you begin the process of reconnecting
with your authentic and original voice
one critical question tends to emerge

are the thoughts and beliefs you’ve
held for so long even your own?

recognizing resonance

it seems to be the
word of the moment

i’m seeing it everywhere
everyone who’s anyone
is using it, saying it

i never like to overuse
but i have always loved
this word, its meaning

it even sounds consequential
(you might say it “resonates”)
when spoken aloud

resonance

there are a few different definitions
but the one currently being highlighted

has to do with a relational
reaction to someone or something
an almost visceral experience

“producing a positive feeling,
emotional response, or opinion”

“a feeling, thought, or memory that
a piece of writing, music, etc gives you”

vibration
reverberation
resonance

for me the word conjures up
catholic churches and cathedrals

those i’ve attended in the states and
those i’ve visited while living abroad

places of quiet grandeur
filled with healing resonance
and powerful subtle energy

it’s interesting that i happen to
be writing this post on ash wednesday

a holy day that resonates with many
the beginning of the lenten season
and such a significant part of my youth

fasting and abstinence
ashes on one’s forehead
“to dust you shall return”

i still like to step just inside
the door, away from whatever’s
going on in the outside world

as i breathe in the peacefulness
of the sanctuary, memories and
wistful feelings flood through me

i remember the roman catholic mass
its intrinsic and reverent beauty

the incense, the latin chants,
the priest’s vestments, the rituals

i no longer attend mass but i still
experience the hushed mystery
whenever i enter a cathedral

it’s something that will probably always
create a sense of resonance within me


 
 
 
 

living in the layers

when it snowed heavily earlier this week
i labeled it “another layer of winter”

the new chill reminded me why i always
dress in layers during this cold season

and it made me think about layers
in general, things that cover up other things
thicknesses added on top of each other

layers in my abstract art exploration
layers in a majestic mountain scene
layers in a spoken narration

not just physical layers
but also mental layers
energetic layers too

and then i came across this quote

“there’s something beautiful about how, as life goes on, it continues to layer itself.

a counterfeit high

some of you know that last monday i received what i called “hopeful” news. and as a few surmised, it did indeed have to do with my health. i was honestly so excited, to the point of tears that would not stop flowing.

equilibrium

her balance was off
she could feel it in every
cell of her body
physically, mentally, emotionally

how she longed for a
return to homeostasis
everything neatly in tune
flowing smoothly once again

and yet she knew she had
a great deal of work to do
before that could become a reality

habits to revamp
infirmities to resolve
resentment to shed
sorrow to dissipate

she thought about what it would take
to achieve that level of equilibrium
the idea alone overwhelmed
and exhausted her

she decided to plan a sojourn
a solo trip to a cottage near the ocean
perhaps a cabin in the woods

to listen to her needs
to align herself with her truth
to remember and celebrate
her unique essence

to assess the situation as
objectively as possible
to write, to read
to think, to feel

to reacquaint herself with self
and to remember who she was
what she stood for


 
 
*******
 
 
this post was adapted from
a 7-minute freewrite i did
using a paint chip prompt

my color “equilibrium”


 
 
 
 

paparazzi

a long-ago time filled with
such innocence and angst

paparazzi following me through
the streets of downtown spokane

looking carefree but feeling
insecure and awkward inside

lucky for me 70s fashion included
bell bottoms and peasant blouses

clothes i used to my advantage to
camouflage the back brace i so hated

i don’t think about it much anymore but
sometimes something (a photo) reminds me

though i don’t recall the particulars of
what i did, where i went, how i felt

i know it must have been my mom behind
the lens that day and i applaud her

for capturing these black-and-white moments and
for always-and-forever being my one true-blue
 
 
 
 

spiral swirl twirl smudge

abstract thoughts

spiraling

swirling

twirling

but sometimes leaving meaning

a bit smudged
 
 
 
 

tangerine vibes

on january 6, the epiphany
under the first full moon of 2023 (the wolf moon)
i chose my word of the year . . .
 
 

 
 
several of my friends had been choosing a color, along with a word, to accompany and guide them through the next 12 months.

fresh avenues

well, it’s that season again
when i think about creating
my vision board for the new year

though i am still a bit unsure
about all i’d like to focus on
and accomplish in 2023

and i haven’t yet picked
my word of the year or even
narrowed down my choices

i’m letting january be my muse
seeing what fresh avenues this first
month of the year will walk me down

i’ve created several vision boards
through the years and have written about
them on seven different occasions

if you’re interested in making your own
vision board and would like a look
at my personal process, here you go:

  1. imagine.

blurriness corrected

it was a wonder-filled holiday in many ways
the beautiful winter snowscape
and christmas-in-the-city scenes
our two brightest lights home again
for our first pink house noel

and now only three days to go
as i say my goodbyes to the current year
and turn my attention to 2023’s newness

a fresh calendar calls for
crisp candor and raw reflection
quieting my mind
noticing my rhythms

bidding farewell to anything that
no longer moves me forward
though certain words seem to
keep popping up that do

wellness
and peace
resolve
and relevance
alignment

sky-high expectations
occasionally lead one astray
hiding unspoken truths
that bear closer examination

sometimes caught in intricate
webs of our own making
difficult to see beyond
so we adapt to the blurriness

but it is tiring and unproductive
to stay trapped in the fog
eventually we must feel our way
out through the hazy daze

open our eyes wide and
embrace what’s in front of us
who we are and what we are
meant to bring to this world