Author Archives: April Lee

 
 
never
  ending
never
  understood
never
  peace
 
 
fighting
  to be
    free . . .
 
 
unrivaled.
 
 
stuck
spikes
swirls
set points

repeat.
 
 
out of the loop

dismissed
diminished
detached
 
 
the aches
the pains
but still
the dreams
the hopes
 
 

 
 
the moon
cold and full
looms over
my decision
to silently
withdraw
until epiphanies
are no longer
muffled like
solid rock
 
 
to be
effervescent
again
to be
clever
again
to be admired
again
to be
april
again
 
 
blocks
trampling
their way
through
openings
green
fresh
inviting
 
 
creative
strength
training
inside
underneath
hidden
difficult
 
 
unraveled.

for the past ten days, i’ve been immersed in a very interesting creative practice, taking a journey deep into my body’s spontaneous wisdom. as part of a year-long course i am enrolled in, i was invited to “meditate upon the poetry of my mysterious inner life.”

each day, i set aside a few minutes to quickly pull from a magazine an image that attracted me, a picture that produced a strong emotional charge (even if i didn’t fully understand why at the time).

 
 
TAPESTRY . . . weaving
the layers of my life

i thought they would come
together in the form of
storytelling this year

but so far 2024 has had
something else in mind
for me and i’m still
unraveling the “why”s and
the lessons behind them

an intense and daily
headache for six months
one continuous and invasive
throbbing that stole away
many precious moments

i felt myself fading into
the background, worrying
about the-worst-it-could-be

and just like that, now
it’s gone – an MRI with no
conclusive findings, likely
my maxillary sinus perforated,
a dental visit gone awry

VIBE .

what i’m reading: the wrong hostage by elizabeth lowell, a place in the world: finding the meaning of home by frances mayes

what i’m watching: the saint tv series, season 1 (1962), starring roger moore

what i’m listening to: i’m not a fan of audio, but i am currently enrolled in two online courses: “neuro linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner / life coach certification” and “the art of healing depression” (with shelley klammer)

what i’m eating: cabbage & carrots, organic blue corn tortilla chips, pepitas, iced tea

what i’m planning: “talk & walk” one-to-one coaching sessions in wallace, THE ARRIVAL farewell tour (2024-25) at villa magnolia in italy
 
 
 
 

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this poem is not what you might think.

this poem will not adequately delve into my oft-imagined daydream of a boho-chic lifestyle, 60 years ago in the 60s, in the avant-garde garment district of new york city. in an ultra-modern industrial warehouse loft, dancing with my two-year-old daughter named something fantastical like avalon topanga or crescent arabella.