how does one even begin to process a realized dream?
a dream many years in the making?
a dream many revisions later?
the consummation of my grand scheme all coming together.
played out in an enchanting 100-year-old villa, in a northern italian village,
against a backdrop of majestic mountains and a magnolia tree.
my ultra-supportive husband and my two closest friends by my side.
and in the foreground, my welcomed guests on a very important journey.
exactly where they needed to be, at that moment in time.
a whirlwind of sessions, activities, and events.
laughter, tears, and love.
healing.
still processing and thinking.
processing and thinking.
although THE ARRIVAL retreat-no-more experience had its requisite blips
(such as getting separated from my participants when the train doors closed),
it absolutely had its perfect moments.
many, in fact.
wednesday, the day in the middle, was an especially magical time.
one of those better-than-imagined days,
that happened to coincide with 8-months-in-italy on the calendar.
a dress-up dinner party,
during a metaphorically-dramatic summer thunderstorm.
italian friends helping to pull it all off.
spoken truths and unraveled revelations,
with self-recognized strengths and powerful breakthroughs as well.
still processing and thinking.
processing and thinking.
i’m sorting through the retreat specifics.
what to keep for next time, what to change, what to discard.
i’m reviewing the family-environment model,
the logistics of inviting participants into my home.
i felt the subtle-but-tingling mental shift at the close of my first retreat.
landing quite fittingly on the last day of june,
exactly halfway through the year.
a suitable-and-satisfactory reason to view it all
through the lens of THE CLIMB.
my word-of-the-year for the first half of 2017.
it’s been a steep uphill climb.
so reaching the summit has been all the more rewarding,
after the inevitable slips into tricky deep crevasses.
it makes my word-of-the-year for the second half,
with its double-purpose mission, even more apt and meaningful.
THE REAWAKENING.
still processing and thinking.
processing and thinking.
villa magnolia has been reawakened, of course.
nearing the finish line, with its living spaces almost complete.
and yet far-to-go, with its tangled and expansive secret garden.
and its cellar regions, my colombo cantina.
still deciding too whether to retain the exterior’s old world charm,
or to bestow upon its surface a coat of fresh paint.
it’s primarily about me though.
i am in the midst of blossoming, of opening, of being reawakened.
a move to another country will obviously bring about changes.
that was always totally expected and even eagerly awaited.
but as i tearfully tried to explain to my childhood friends,
i have changed in ways i never could have imagined.
ways that i find nearly impossible to put into words.
still processing and thinking.
processing and thinking.
i am literally a different person.
i have grieved through past hurts and what-ifs,
while healing and defending my soul.
i have resorted back to toddlerhood,
while reaching a new level of maturity.
i have sunk to the depths of loneliness and despair,
while congratulating myself on milestones attained each day.
i have dissolved and reassembled my identity over and over,
while letting go of the final remains of who-i-never-ever-could-be.
yes, i am reawakening parts of myself formerly dormant or untouched.
but i’ve also had to temporarily shut down a few parts i still need,
out of necessity during this complete upheaval.
the rest of the year will be dedicated to reviving those areas.
(one of which i will reveal in next week’s blog post . . .)
still processing and thinking.
processing and thinking.
THE REAWAKENING.
trying to embrace my true-to-me essence in its entirety.
because i am literally a different person.
*******
have you heard the news?!
i’ve announced the dates for my next retreat! 🙂
october 22 through 27!
further details coming soon . . .
*******
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I was imagining what your retreat place and events look like – with you, the guests, the beautiful Italian country side, the laugh and the revelations. Retreat like this truly strengthens our body and our mentality, and makes us more connected with ourselves. I look forward to reading your next week’s blog post.
Ahh April, I love reading about your dreams realized and the blips that make it funny, poignant and so moving. Such an inspiration!!! I am so happy for you that your first Villa Magnolia retreat was such a deep success!
This is such a beautiful post April.. I feel you..I can feel the shift and transformation that you have been sharing with us on your journey. That is so inspiring and will bring so much energy to your retreats and beyond. So congratulations on that amazing transforming first half of the year, and cheers to the next six exciting months!