run out of the house
and FAR FAR AWAY
keep going and going until
[all the little irritating things
that kept tap-tap-tapping
you on the shoulder and
eventually became]
one huge BOULDER
[pressing and pushing
weighing you down]
FLIES OFF and
TUMBLES AWAY
along the path
BEHIND you.
wouldn’t that be nice?
to just run away from all of your nagging little difficulties?
or perhaps they’ve become so huge that life itself feels like one unrelenting problem.
too overwhelming to endure.
imagine the lightness, the relief, you would experience.
if these concerns simply released their hold on you and floated away.
but life doesn’t work that way in reality, does it?
we have to bear our burdens, and sometimes it isn’t very easy.
what if, instead of escaping (which we all know doesn’t really work long-term),
you attacked what was going on instead?
you stood your ground.
and you met your obstacles head on.
sound scary?
yes, it is.
but trying to run away is scary too.
because it’s never-ending.
you’d have to run forever.
you may find yourself forced into resolving your dilemma.
in fact, it may be that you have absolutely no other choice at some point.
but to actually and finally end it.
instead of looking down, you must only look up.
i’ve been afraid.
i’ve felt as if there was no way out.
i’ve faced difficult situations.
but i’ve also managed to reach the other side.
i’ve learned how to cope.
i’ve sat, shaking, and allowed those terrifying feelings to come to the surface.
and i’ve been open to accepting the lessons that they were inevitably there to give.
does this mean i happily and willingly accept my circumstances each time?
no, not at all.
does this mean i never cry or whine or rant about “poor me?”
well, i wish i could say yes, but that would be a lie.
i am human.
i react like many other people do at what i perceive as events happening TO me.
but, after an allotted period of grief, i pull myself out from beneath my self-pity.
sometimes even from the depths of despair (which, of course, takes longer).
and, so far, i haven’t perished in the process.
i have not been totally defeated yet.
and i am determined to keep the upper hand that i’ve been working so hard to gain.
there’s no doubt that deliberate confrontation is frightening and difficult.
especially if you feel as if you are all alone.
having someone cheer you on and support you can make the journey easier.
someone that you can absolutely trust and count on.
someone who is willing to share with you – tools and tears, skills and smiles.
i have made it my mission to be this close ally to my coaching clients.
women who have endured a life-threatening eating disorder.
and have fought their way through the recovery process.
who have emerged physically whole, but are still struggling emotionally.
and are still unsure as to what lies ahead for them in the future.
i want to see each of these women claim her right to a bold.free.new life.
rediscover that person inside who is BIGGER than the illness.
who has been waiting to burst forth triumphantly.
in order to fulfill dreams that have been hidden away for too long.
i have developed so much respect for these women.
they are brave and they are strong.
and it is a delight to collaborate with them on the road to personal freedom.
“Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me.”
―Frederick Buechner
do you find yourself running?
what are you running from?
how could your life be different if you stood your ground?
tell me about your struggles (and your victories) in the comments below.
and thanks for sharing.
Great post! And I think sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we are running TOWARDS something when really we are running away.
Heck, I think that just about sums up the shiny object syndrome right there 🙂
interesting insight, angie! and yes, that does define “shiny object syndrome” – always chasing what we see as the (next) answer. thanks for sharing.
It’s so scary to face our difficulties, but when I do I feel so strong – even if I just took a baby step. One step leads to another. Great post!
i agree, pam – i always promote baby steps to my clients. so many of us get caught up in that “all or nothing” mentality, which usually ends up freezing us. and isn’t that feeling of strength luscious? 🙂
April, I’m very curious what kind of treatments you’ve found the most effective. My contribution is to create positive self- belief stories in the form of photomontages – but this healing artwork would be meaningless for clients if not for the talk therapy/art therapy and brain-body processing (i.e. EMDR) that comes before it. What worked for you? What’s working for your clients? I’d love to chat with you anytime: 773-255-4677 (EST). N
nancy – i am trained as a cognitive-behavioral counselor, and much of what i do centers around thought reframing. i also do a lot of emotions work with my clients – having them identify and sit with their feelings, learning to understand the lessons their feelings are trying to convey, allowing their inner wisdom to guide them. i believe our emotions are a direct line to our true essence, and are highly influenced by our thought processes. i think photomontages sound fascinating – i would like to hear more about them.
April, I used to have an eating disorder, too, and I know what it’s like to run. But you are so right – when you decide to face whatever is chasing you, you can only win! Thanks for another awesome post! 🙂
i am saddened to hear that you struggled through an eating disorder, nathalie (but am very glad to see it mentioned in past tense). and i like your phrase: “face whatever is chasing you.” thanks so much for visiting my blog. 🙂
April, I think this is an ever increasing problem for young men as well. I have worked with students for 20 years and young men seem to have an increasing poor body image. They too seem to run away rather than face their core issues.
As a high school wrestler I was in the “best” shape of my life. I also suffered my own type of eating disorder, I crashed dieted, purged, binge ate for years all to make weight. Lessons learned during these years have been hard to not follow as an adult.
I seem to see two types of male students; one who has given up on proper eating and exercise or those who have become obsessed with body image.
you are absolutely right, fred. it is a growing problem for young men. and it may be even harder for them to seek help since eating disorders have become known as “female illnesses.” i am so sorry to hear that you went through your own battle with this – wrestlers are definitely one of the groups at greater risk. thank you for bringing up this very important point.