two weddings and a funeral

in the span of one month (exactly 30 days)
i’ve attended two weddings and a funeral

the first was my nephew’s wedding
officiated by his uncle, my brother
a lively and lavish affair in florida
which included many fascinating components
of a traditional hindu bridal ceremony

the second was the intimate wedding
of the daughter of one of my best friends
also officiated by an uncle
and punctuated by lovely vows
for her adorable new stepdaughter

though the funeral was difficult
a vibrant young woman, only 34 years old
much too young to be saying her goodbyes
an amazingly moving tribute penetrated the
excruciating sadness of the standing-room-only crowd

i once babysat her mom and her aunt
and consider them my little sisters
sometimes the circle of life seems skewed

this service included rituals from
the young woman’s native american roots
the hauntingly beautiful drum-and-song solo
still reverberating on in my heart

so it was a bit of an event whirlwind
and i was grateful to be present at all three

but one thing i noticed with surprise
in different ways at each
was how, at certain moments
i felt somewhat removed, even
separate from what was happening

as a spectator, i’d taken a step back
and almost felt as if i might be
infringing upon the sacredness within
a trespass on the very private joy and grief

it’s kept me thinking about the
concept of ceremony ever since

what does ceremony mean to us as humans?

this formal occasion, celebrating
a specific event with a specific purpose
following a certain protocol
to mark one of life’s essential moments

reflecting certain cultures and beliefs
traditions and hopes
eliciting emotions
and sparking memories

a context in which to accept
change as a collective
aligning the group
in this shared experience

i have, of course, felt this
feeling of oneness before
it’s what many spend their lives seeking

but i’ve found myself analyzing things
more in depth lately, and i guess
i’ve become a pseudo-cultural anthropologist
these last several weeks

an outside observer filled with curiosity
about customs and practices
about this world and this life
 
 
 
 

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