the carousel of time

july 26 (from my facebook post, rhythm realignment / day 21):

“and the seasons they go round and round
and the painted ponies go up and down
we’re captive on the carousel of time
we can’t return we can only look behind
from where we came
and go round and round and round
in the circle game”

~joni mitchell

it was time. time for me to recapture my energy, time to concentrate on healing and feeling whole again, time for me to realign with my rhythm.

three weeks have gone by since i made the decision to ramp up my self-care. weeks that were also filled with momentous events for both eric and me . . . final letting-go goodbyes that were difficult and sad. health issues. career ups and downs. new-to-us places visited and new-to-us items for the villa. lots of emotions, all over the place.

they say it takes 21 days to create a habit. whether truth or myth, today is day 21 of my rhythm realignment (my last get-up-to-speed day). i’ve not only established a full daily self-care and home-care routine once more, i’ve accomplished a lot and generated a lot of movement.
 
 
looking back into the not-so-distant past . . .
 
 
april 12 (from my facebook post, lockdown in italy day 34):

villa magnolia had visitors this morning . . . i was super excited to finally have company (any kind of company at all), but i think our guests thought the woman yelling “HI, HAPPY EASTER” to them from the library catwalk was a bit crazy! fortunately for us all, mr. smith was on guard duty.

buona pasqua to all my friends and family around the world, from quarantine in the northwestern tip of tuscany ❤️??❤️


 
 
april 14 (from my facebook post, lockdown in italy day 36):

when this pandemic began, i sincerely (perhaps naively) believed that together we would fight this invisible enemy, we would help each other, we would be better in the end. all around the world. and i’ve seen many instances of exactly that scenario playing out. truly inspiring acts, strong courageous people.

unfortunately, i’ve also seen (at least according to my own diverse facebook feed) the current situation breeding division, even hatred. especially in my native country. i know it probably (mostly) stems from fear. but over the past couple of days, watching it all unfold, i’ve felt both sad and troubled. i’ve been keeping my opinions primarily to myself. because that’s what they are >> opinions. and relationships are more important to me than trying to prove myself right in a battle that cannot be won.

personally, i’m a bit fearful of what lies ahead for the u.s. and more importantly, for the people i love best there.

such divisiveness . . . sigh. i’m glad i live in italy.


 
 
april 16 (from my facebook post, lockdown in italy day 38 / self-isolation day 60, housebound for two months!!):

as most of my close friends know . . . i was a huge fan of toilet paper (especially charmin) BEFORE it became so cool, trendy, popular ??

[photos from september 30, 2018]


 
 
april 18 (from my facebook post, lockdown in italy day 40):

i didn’t fall asleep until 5:00 a.m. one of those nights i know many are experiencing. and today i’m feeling just a wee bit claustrophobic.

because of an illness that overlapped with the beginning of our lockdown, i’ve been at home for 62 days. and i do mean, literally, at home. every minute of those 62 days.

though i’ve known how to drive for decades, i don’t have an italian driver’s license yet. i admit it. so far i’ve lacked the internal courage and perseverance needed to face the driving school and the driver’s manual and the theory test and the driving lessons and the road test (ALL in italian). until i successfully complete all of those steps, however, i cannot legally operate a motor vehicle on these streets. (guess what project i haven’t been working on during quarantine?) anyway, that means i am not the “one member from each household” who’s been doing the grocery shopping (masked and gloved) since this pandemic began. so i haven’t been to a store in 2 months.

we are also not allowed to go anywhere for any unspecified reason during the lockdown. no casual strolls, no spontaneous outings. lately i’ve been dreaming about taking a scenic drive, up up up into the nearby mountains. and just running around freely and crazily, with wild abandon, laughing maniacally.

and i’d really really really love to eat food from a restaurant. it’s been so very long. even takeout sounds utterly amazing to me!

so there you have it. i am longing to go beyond the stone balustrade that keeps me tucked inside villa magnolia. i know i will, someday soon. and i’ll be fortunate that i’m healthy and able to do so.

but today i’m feeling just a wee bit claustrophobic.


 
 
 
 

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