none of us

we are all afraid.
we are all lonely.
we are all frustrated.
we are all bewildered.

none of us escapes these human conditions.
none of us conquers darkness every time.
none of us never wonders why.
none of us has it all figured out.

when someone tells me,
“you’re so brave.”
i answer, “bravery can exist,
even amidst intense fear.”

in my experience,
courage accompanies
shaking knees and a
wildly beating heart.

when someone tells me,
“you’re so lucky.”
i answer, “luck is so often an imposter,
a disguise for choice.”

are some things a result of luck?
yes, I think so, exceptions though.
what is quickly labeled as “luck” is usually
persistent effort, a hard-fought decision.

though some are dealt a more devastating lot –
a child’s death, a fatal illness –
everyone knows pain,
everyone has suffered.

some choose to focus on their hardships,
others attempt to push through them.
we have no other options,
we must either stand still or move on.
 
 

 
 
i wrote these words five days ago.

yesterday morning eric and i received frightening news about one of our sons, then were unable to connect with him all day long.

it was hard to make it through the day, to focus on what i needed to do, when all i wanted to do was hear his voice. i had to choose, again and again, to push through the anxiety and fear i was feeling inside. to trust, to wait, to be brave.

he hit a 450-lb elk at 65 mph. upon impact, the hood ramped up, launching the animal over the roof and onto the trunk. “the paramedics said i would have died otherwise.”

would have died.

his car (that he bought himself and diligently worked on) is gone. but he’s still here.

he’s here. and he’s okay.
 
 
*******
 
 

announcing the delicious details of my next retreat

 

 
 
 
 

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