some days you want to clarify
illustrate fix and explain
a million and one things
for those who doubt and dismay
you want them to get it
to understand
to get you
to really see you
not sure why
because they won’t
and it shouldn’t
even matter
every time you try connecting
with someone you strongly feel
should know you should like you
but really doesn’t who-knows-why
you feel you must tell them
every single detail
fill in every missing piece
keep trying to bridge that gap
convince them
you’re often disappointed
but you rarely learn your lesson
you usually try again
maybe that’s okay though
maybe it means you haven’t lost
faith in the human race
in the kindness and potential depth
of people reaching out
sharing their stories
sharing their lives
maybe someday you’ll know to
only focus on the right ones
to realize that labels given
don’t always mean people behave as such
once-in-awhile noting too
your own reaction to others
how maybe you respond similarly
words tinged with anger jealousy
and fear more often than you admit
even alone and to yourself
how to change the world
perhaps you will agree
it never hurts to concentrate
on being open light and free
I haven’t learned to focus on the right ones yet and find all my energy being sucked from my soul when I have to deal with clueless people who are selfish and rarely show gratitude. Teenagers express outrage when they miss yearbook deadlines and threaten to sue us…they have not one iota of understanding how huge an undertaking it is to produce a book that thousands of people will see for decades to com.
I could go on, but I feel my blood pressure really increasing and I’m too exhausted ûo delve into this again . I wish I could mull this over with my mom. I miss her so much.