the courage to lose sight of the shore (part 5)

countdown to villa magnolia.
departure in just seven days.

the goodbyes have begun.
and will continue all week.

last tuesday, thursday, saturday, sunday.
dinners, coffee dates, breakfasts.

and more.
last night, tonight, tomorrow through monday.
ending with a quiet goodbye alone with my mom’s ashes.

a little piece of me gets torn out with each one.
am i emotionally capable?

my dad and i have been watching a lot of matlock.
and talking and laughing.
but the tears lurk in the perimeters of our smiles.
how will we endure that last-hug-for-now?

and leaving my youngest son behind.
oh my.
he is such a huge presence in our home.
in our lives.
a farewell already to my oldest seven months ago.

a transformative year of change and growth.
my resolve is strong,
but this may be pushing its limits to the brink.

someone called me “bold and brave” the other day.
my response?
boldness includes a lot of fear.

but we’ve actually discovered how strong we all are.
my dad, my husband, my two sons.
me.

i may be at the brink, but i am definitely not going over.

this move, this idea, this journey is happening.
i have a message i need to share with the world.
a purpose, a concept, that’s on its way to being fulfilled.

about dreaming bigger.
about dreaming better.
about finally chasing, and yes even catching, those dreams.

italy is a magical location,
and villa magnolia will be the landing place.
for those intrepid souls who dare to name and seek their dreams.
for those who choose to arrive.

i’m taking the leap,
and i’m hoping to be the example.
of what can be.
scary as hell, but possible.

this journey of mine doesn’t look exactly like it did
when i first dreamed it up a few years ago.
it’s twisted and turned along the way.
but i am proof that, if you stay with it,
if you battle your way through the obstacles,
you can push yourself much further than you ever imagined.

act on the opportunities that arise.
they may be cleverly disguised.
don’t miss them.

lose sight of the shore, yes.
but never lose sight of the vision that propels you.
don’t let any temporary loss of comfort or
fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar, keep you back.

this is your one life.
this is your moment.
honor and respect it as only you can.
as only you must.

cry and laugh and heal and grow.
but L-I-V-E.

 
 
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