the courage to lose sight of the shore (part 5)

countdown to villa magnolia.
departure in just seven days.

the goodbyes have begun.
and will continue all week.

last tuesday, thursday, saturday, sunday.
dinners, coffee dates, breakfasts.

and more.
last night, tonight, tomorrow through monday.
ending with a quiet goodbye alone with my mom’s ashes.

a little piece of me gets torn out with each one.
am i emotionally capable?

my dad and i have been watching a lot of matlock.
and talking and laughing.
but the tears lurk in the perimeters of our smiles.
how will we endure that last-hug-for-now?

and leaving my youngest son behind.
oh my.
he is such a huge presence in our home.
in our lives.
a farewell already to my oldest seven months ago.

a transformative year of change and growth.
my resolve is strong,
but this may be pushing its limits to the brink.

someone called me “bold and brave” the other day.
my response?
boldness includes a lot of fear.

but we’ve actually discovered how strong we all are.
my dad, my husband, my two sons.
me.

i may be at the brink, but i am definitely not going over.

this move, this idea, this journey is happening.
i have a message i need to share with the world.
a purpose, a concept, that’s on its way to being fulfilled.

about dreaming bigger.
about dreaming better.
about finally chasing, and yes even catching, those dreams.

italy is a magical location,
and villa magnolia will be the landing place.
for those intrepid souls who dare to name and seek their dreams.
for those who choose to arrive.

living-room-and-dining-room

living-room-and-dining-room-2

i’m taking the leap,
and i’m hoping to be the example.
of what can be.
scary as hell, but possible.

this journey of mine doesn’t look exactly like it did
when i first dreamed it up a few years ago.
it’s twisted and turned along the way.
but i am proof that, if you stay with it,
if you battle your way through the obstacles,
you can push yourself much further than you ever imagined.

act on the opportunities that arise.
they may be cleverly disguised.
don’t miss them.

lose sight of the shore, yes.
but never lose sight of the vision that propels you.
don’t let any temporary loss of comfort or
fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar, keep you back.

this is your one life.
this is your moment.
honor and respect it as only you can.
as only you must.

cry and laugh and heal and grow.
but L-I-V-E.

airplane-italian-flag-magnolia
 
 
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8 Responses to the courage to lose sight of the shore (part 5)

  1. ellen says:

    My heart…..just beats in anticipation of your words! Emotions……the words make me think in so many directions. I love watching and reading your words and adventures!! Thank you!!

  2. I love that you are sharing this journey with us, a journey of decisions, of pondering, of losing sight of the shore, but only on this side. A new shore is in your horizon and a whole new adventure awaits, an adventure that will include more growth, new journeys, new paths in which you leave the trail; of which you’re already doing. You inspire me April!! A carrot for me is to travel to Italy to see you, to see a place that I’ve always wanted to venture. I’m so excited for you and Ric!

    • April Lee says:

      oh, tammy! that would be so so wonderful if you came to italy! 🙂 (please know you have a place to stay.) thank you for your beautiful words. they made me cry (in a good way).

  3. Allyson Estes says:

    This is so exciting!! What you are doing takes so much courage, and I think it’s wonderful that you and your husband are following your dreams!! Thanks for allowing me to go on this journey with you! 🙂

    • April Lee says:

      thank you, allyson! being courageous includes being scared and unsure much of the time. but i do know it will be worth it in the end. we’ve been working toward this moment for years.

  4. Jul's says:

    I love, love following you on this heartfelt and poetically expressed journey! You inspire, connect and write eloquently your truth! I relate so much when you mention your sons and “leaving” them. Can’t wait to hear when they visit. I love your dream, and the photos are all amazing!

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